08-25-09 - Shock but no Aww. And still we rise.

I have decided I'm not going to Canada on vacation in October. I will save myself and my time and wait for November to travel.

In the meantime I have plenty to occupy myself in and around the city.

The one low moment of feeling bad was Saturday afternoon when I had to send the erase/kill order to my old phone since it had taken an out-of-state trip without me.

This past weekend included more strangeness than most. I lost my shatter-proof night lenses, lost phone and even fell down the stairs (well just 3 stairs). Someone had spilled a drink on the stairs and left them nice and shiny slippery.

Scratched knuckles aside I ended the weekend on a high note with a boat cruise on the Hudson, the bay and into the East River. Some great city pics and a good time had by all.

It was one of the first weeks in a while I was able to workout as much as I wanted to. I felt very good during all of the travails of the weekend and still had a lot of fun.

New phone has now arrived and we are all setup with the new. We will go into the autumn with new hardware and plenty of other new things that we will await to unfold. Until then..

Good times thanks to:
Gym
G Lounge
Splash
And shout out to the teams..
Softball

08-18-09 - Am I, Do I

Am I, Do I
Do I think too highly, do I expect too much
Am I too hard on things I should leave and not touch
Do I expect the world when l go look for mine
Am I dreaming when I expect what I do not yet find

Do I settle for what I feel I can get
Am I wasting my time on the traps that are set
Do I think that it’s done and finished for true
Am I silent with nothing to say or to do
No, I Do what I Am, For I Am as I do,
A Lifelong dream it is time to make true

Until I read every book, and see every showing
I know there is out there, more knowledge for knowing
Especially the tales that I have not yet told
The ones that I dream, the ones that are bold
The tales will be told will be grand on those days
As I dream tales anew and new smiles are always

08/18/09 - Actual Chat Text.. Sometimes I wonder..

Actual Chat Text:

Person: U see another gay movie
Response: The first one
Person: I have not
Response: Thanx for sharing
Person: Id like to
Response: Its nice to have goals

Random friend was the person. I was the response. Sometimes my friends really make me wonder. Other times I kinda know what to expect..

8-14-09 - 50 Plus - Questions that is..

50 Plus - Answers to questions that is :-P - If I was being interviewed by Babwa Wawa..

1. What time did you get up this morning?
9am (I was returning from vacation)

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium Well.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Star Trek

4. What is your favorite TV show?
True Blood

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
NYC

6. What did you have for breakfast today?
Pringles

7.What is your favorite cuisine?
American usually Southern

8. What foods do you dislike?
Nasty Food. Food that is alive. And Peaches and Pears

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
My House but if I’m not cooking I like Wendy’s or Denny’s

10. Favorite dressing?
Spicy French Dressing (Catalina French)

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I do not drive, I use chauffeurs only. Some of those chauffeurs drive the subway.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Something comfortable, looks good and wears well.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Australia and the reef

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full
I drank it already. If there is still something in it then it might be half full.

15. Where would you want to retire?
Someplace with space and a maid.

17. Where were you born?
Yonkers NY but I quickly ran away.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Basketball, but I like watching Rugby, and the Olympics

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
Whatever, I am not gonna keep track or hunt people down. I’m busy.

20. If you could go back in time, how far would you go back and why?
I would go back to around when I got my first job and tell me to save my money and stop
Wasting money on useless gadgets, MLMs and the stock market.

21. If there was a Zombie Apocalypse who would you want with you?
The Predator

22. Bird watcher?
I recognize them but I let them come to me I don’t go looking in the woods for birds.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night person, The morning is evil.

24. Do you have any pets?
No. I’m too busy and I can always visit other peoples pets. That way somebody else pays for the food.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I wanna go back to the beach.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
Everything. I did not want to specialize. I wanted to be good at everything and no matter who I met I knew I could still do something they could not do.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Summer at my Grandma’s house

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
I don’t have either but like visiting both.

29. Are you married?
Not yet. Someday tho.

32. Any pet peeves?
People who ask for obvious or readily available information, People who block the sidewalks and narrow walkways, People who let their kids wreak havoc and then let them get away with it, Ignorant stupid people, Nasty cooking odors from people who don’t know how to cook.

33. Favorite pizza topping?
Pepperoni, but I will eat almost any topping except olives or fish

34. FAVORITE FLOWER?
The last ones to fade and die.

35. Favorite ice cream?
Vanilla Ice Cream w/ Rainbow Sprinkles

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Wendy’s - All fast food in moderation, I prefer cooking myself though.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
Never taken driving test. I do have the permit though

38. From whom did you get your last email?
I get email every few seconds on 3 accounts. I have no idea. Facebook?

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Century 21. I would need a U-Haul to get it all home.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
I gave a dollar to a drag queen

41. Like your job?
I liked my job once. That was like 7 years ago. After that It all went down hill.

42. ...Broccoli?
Usually once a week. It is good for you. Calcium and Fiber.

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Cruise through the caribbean, went to 5 different islands, took some amazing photos and danced almost every night.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Pais

45. What are you listening to right now?
Eyewitness news. My newest tea dance house mix was the soundtrack to the ride home.

46. What is your favorite color?
Blue. And whatever color goes with it. I am trying to branch out and be more unpredictable.

47. How many tattoos do you have, what and where?
1, It’s in chinese and on my shoulder.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
I will pick them kind of random and don’t require anything in return.

49. What are you wearing?
Ginch Gonch (I was traveling), Baseball New York All Star Game Tee Shirt.

50. Coffee Drinker?
Social, at Denny’s, when on vacation.

7/28/09 - The Mind moves in mysterious ways

I keep reiterating to myself what my plans are and then the plans kind of mutate into something new and different. I guess I am having a hard time following through still.

I go through the busy weekend to the slow week and my mind is still moving a mile a minute when midnite rolls around on a Tuesday. I guess I can blame the weekend habits and I guess I haven't done enough to make my midweek return to enough of a regular kind of schedule. Every week we at least try to learn by experience and keep it moving in the direction on how to change it all for the better.

For example I have learned while riding the exercise bike at the gym with the newest feedback and heart rate readings that I now know how to concentrate and to slow down my heartbeat temporarily. This ends up being very helpful when one has to go to sleep and needs to calm down. Just relax, release and dream.

I also now know there is a thin line between feeling antsy and a short nap. I will go with the result of whichever one fits the situation at hand. Nap for the couch at home, antsy fits the bill when its the weekend.

The times are crystallizing around us if we stay too still. I need to keep in motion just so I don't get stuck in one place. At least I am getting better each day finding my own pieces in the puzzle that it is. I can have as many pieces as I need. I can do what I need to do to make sure my pieces fit. I can touch as many other pieces of the puzzle as I need to to make my part of the picture complete. More and more I am gravitating towards doing what I love, having to do with music, or writing original stories.

I think I am going start writing short stories so that I can finish them sooner. I remember those Telzey Amberdon stories were all short and entertaining. I could definitely write something short and yet entertaining. Maybe someday I will finally get the longer stories down and beyond the outline stage. But right now I will ride with my strengths. Now if only we could continue to be this calm and thoughtful about this and not work ourselves up into a frenzy as the summer and autumn progress.

I need to do even better. I have been taking better care of myself and eating better things and getting better control over my sleep but I need to improve every day and not fall into the rut that is rolling alongside my life. People have been wondering what I am up to and except for the music, the updates, the fun parts people just don't know. When the new and exciting happens I want to remember to write it down. Some day soon I'm sure.

Until then life continues.

7/16/09 - Time and Again

Sometimes laid back is taken too far.

But at least no harm has been done, no fouls committed.

I will endeavor to be more motivated as the summer continues and winds down. I don't want the first day of Autumn to roll in and I'm wondering "where did it all go?". I will admit I've done some fun things, discovered some interesting things (about myself and others) and have decided some new things as well.

We've traveled, hung out, danced, created new music CDs, and created new storylines for the books underway. But while I have accused other people of losing their focus and doing too much at once, I have been guilty of the same traps myself. I have tried to do too much and have ended up doing very little. The only thing I have been really good at is hanging out and being there for my friends. The week must be better spent in moving my other tasks forward and not letting them fall by the wayside and being neglected. In terms of organization I think I will let the week be more about the writing and the weekend to be more about the music. Lack of focus has made everything sort of hazy.

I think the time has come for me to share with more people what my summer goals are and let them give me the encouragement for a change.

I know I have tried to be self-sufficient and do all of the pushing internally but there comes a time when I must realize that I need outside uplifting along with the internal. I wouldn't want to go dancing at a club where I was the only one dancing.. so too I don't want to be the only one pushing myself forward and through to the conclusion of my many projects. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am kind of letting it fall to the ground like autumn leaves.

We can do better, and we will get by with a little help from our friends. We have done the hard part and made our friends. Now we must let go a little and let our friends be there for us too. No testing involved just nice reminders that we all need our goals reflected back at us.

No time like the present. No better day than now. No more waiting for tomorrow. We will start with today.