7/28/09 - The Mind moves in mysterious ways

I keep reiterating to myself what my plans are and then the plans kind of mutate into something new and different. I guess I am having a hard time following through still.

I go through the busy weekend to the slow week and my mind is still moving a mile a minute when midnite rolls around on a Tuesday. I guess I can blame the weekend habits and I guess I haven't done enough to make my midweek return to enough of a regular kind of schedule. Every week we at least try to learn by experience and keep it moving in the direction on how to change it all for the better.

For example I have learned while riding the exercise bike at the gym with the newest feedback and heart rate readings that I now know how to concentrate and to slow down my heartbeat temporarily. This ends up being very helpful when one has to go to sleep and needs to calm down. Just relax, release and dream.

I also now know there is a thin line between feeling antsy and a short nap. I will go with the result of whichever one fits the situation at hand. Nap for the couch at home, antsy fits the bill when its the weekend.

The times are crystallizing around us if we stay too still. I need to keep in motion just so I don't get stuck in one place. At least I am getting better each day finding my own pieces in the puzzle that it is. I can have as many pieces as I need. I can do what I need to do to make sure my pieces fit. I can touch as many other pieces of the puzzle as I need to to make my part of the picture complete. More and more I am gravitating towards doing what I love, having to do with music, or writing original stories.

I think I am going start writing short stories so that I can finish them sooner. I remember those Telzey Amberdon stories were all short and entertaining. I could definitely write something short and yet entertaining. Maybe someday I will finally get the longer stories down and beyond the outline stage. But right now I will ride with my strengths. Now if only we could continue to be this calm and thoughtful about this and not work ourselves up into a frenzy as the summer and autumn progress.

I need to do even better. I have been taking better care of myself and eating better things and getting better control over my sleep but I need to improve every day and not fall into the rut that is rolling alongside my life. People have been wondering what I am up to and except for the music, the updates, the fun parts people just don't know. When the new and exciting happens I want to remember to write it down. Some day soon I'm sure.

Until then life continues.

7/16/09 - Time and Again

Sometimes laid back is taken too far.

But at least no harm has been done, no fouls committed.

I will endeavor to be more motivated as the summer continues and winds down. I don't want the first day of Autumn to roll in and I'm wondering "where did it all go?". I will admit I've done some fun things, discovered some interesting things (about myself and others) and have decided some new things as well.

We've traveled, hung out, danced, created new music CDs, and created new storylines for the books underway. But while I have accused other people of losing their focus and doing too much at once, I have been guilty of the same traps myself. I have tried to do too much and have ended up doing very little. The only thing I have been really good at is hanging out and being there for my friends. The week must be better spent in moving my other tasks forward and not letting them fall by the wayside and being neglected. In terms of organization I think I will let the week be more about the writing and the weekend to be more about the music. Lack of focus has made everything sort of hazy.

I think the time has come for me to share with more people what my summer goals are and let them give me the encouragement for a change.

I know I have tried to be self-sufficient and do all of the pushing internally but there comes a time when I must realize that I need outside uplifting along with the internal. I wouldn't want to go dancing at a club where I was the only one dancing.. so too I don't want to be the only one pushing myself forward and through to the conclusion of my many projects. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am kind of letting it fall to the ground like autumn leaves.

We can do better, and we will get by with a little help from our friends. We have done the hard part and made our friends. Now we must let go a little and let our friends be there for us too. No testing involved just nice reminders that we all need our goals reflected back at us.

No time like the present. No better day than now. No more waiting for tomorrow. We will start with today.

07/07/09 - As we welcome the Day..

We lived through the parties and mayhem. Check. We are still ready for more fun times ahead. Check. Did we learn new things and influence people? Check.

I think I am doing well. I seem to have more of a will to complete the tasks I set out before me. I have done the music, the reading, the writing, and of course have been out and social with the friends. New friends all the time keep the energies flowing. We find out so much more about ourselves when we find out more about our friends. I think I have made some new ones that will allow me to watch the circle of friends grow and change.

I have seen that social networking allows people to constantly expand outward and then circle back and reconnect with both their pasts and their future.

I have been the DJ once again both via gift CDs and playing the playlist from the Ipod for the latest birthday party. I have added new elements to my newest novel(s) and expect to be more regular in adding to the storylines as the summer progresses.

Every night(day) we are supposed to go to bed proud of what we have accomplished with the day (night) and be happy that we are still adding to the story that is us. What we each have needs to be shared with the world. What the world has needs to be filtered down and shown to us in a way that makes sense for each of us individually.

What the world and the ones on it do for you may not be what the world does for me. And vice versa. We cannot force our own way of looking at things or doing things upon anyone else. We just have to let them know about our own part. And help them to look around and relate to their own worldview.

So many times things are forced, minds are crushed, facts are distorted and it only serves a limited worldview. Even if we are spoon fed we will grab onto the spoon and learn to do it ourselves. We have to do our best to not stifle the views of others but to help them see what is true and not just what is obvious but what the meaning of the happenings is. Many things happen for a reason. Other things happen for no reason at all. Our reaction or our apathy can be a turning point for someone else as well. Everyone can be teachers and be learning at the same time. There is no limit to any of our endeavors except the limit to how far we wish them to go.

We can stay in one place and enjoy the view, or we can keep on moving and enjoy the ride. Though we may be going in stops and starts, we will learn the whole time and do wonderful things, and see marvelous things.

It's still kind of a play-as-you-go plan. But it sounds fun to me.

Special thanks
Gym
G Lounge
Splash