1/29 - Today is a New Day. But let's wait until tomorrow..

I will say that I woke up today feeling 50% better, am now doing 80% rather than 60% like yesterday. Am still illin but headache is gone. Nose is still running but post-nasal and painful coughing is not kicking my head.

I was able to do short workout in-house just to prove to myself I am feeling better. It's all downhill from here (gets easier). I may not be well enough to hang out tomorrow (don't want to get anyone sick tonight) but we will see about tomorrow and will def. be up for a Saturday hang.

Be strong Peeps, I will return shortly..
=)

1/28/09 - We can rebuild him, Slowly, and it won't cost 6 million..

One of the 300 Spartans, fighting everyday, getting bored with stabbing and slashing, and beaten and bruised myself. I know how that feels..

Feeling like you have been beaten in your sleep, and feeling as if you are still being beaten when you wake up. I know how that feels..

Having an alien egg in your nasal cavity, pulsing this way and that, ready to break through your forehead any second.. I now know how that feels..

I thought I had a real bad cold, but the body aches, the headaches while I am laying down and when I stand up, the FEVER, as well as the pulsing of my temples has convinced me it is influenza, the flu to people who use smaller words.

I know this will be over soon and I will stop sneezing every 5 minutes, stop coughing every 10 minutes, and stop having to take ibuprofen just to watch television. It is so very true that when you do not have your health everything else is kinda secondary..

Being uncomfortable like this makes it hard to think, hard to plan, hard to think too deeply. I know I still have things to do, more to do list items to go through but for now I have to concentrate on getting better. Well the rest part is easy (if insomnia and random pains would let me sleep) but have to remember to hydrate, take my vitamins and continue to take care of myself in my miasma of ill feeling.

I still have this Super Bowl Sunday to look forward to. This means I have to cook, clean, and get everything ready for guests to run through and enjoy their time in front of the big screen.

We don't have as big a personal statewide stake as when the Giants were in the bowl last year, but am sure Pittsburgh and Arizona can make the game interesting.

Hopefully I am feeling better to do some fun things with the weekend before Sunday rolls around. I will just take of myself until then. Another glass of water please..

1/23/09 - A New Day Has Come.. Are we awake yet?

I have spent a lot of time rebuilding. Myself, my computers, my house. And the time does go by. Just when you think you have everything done you find new chores, new things you have to pick up at the store, new bills that have to be settled. It's called multi-tasking when you do it on purpose. It's called being pulled in too many directions when it happens to you and you are just along for the ride.

I am happy with the new PC and being forced redesign my music layouts and software. Some things you only do if pushed to it. The 8 Gig of RAM does go a long way to making the transition worth the while.

Running uphill means I re-injured my knee(s) so now I am friends with an ace bandage and staying a little less active for next few weeks. Painkillers are my buddy and anti-inflammatory are staying at my place (woot woot) but too much of anything can be bad for you so all things up to a point..

My online friends have done a lot to keep me occupied, sane and connected and I have learned so much just from my online peeps and it has become practically a full time job just keeping up with all of this online social.

Lessons learned.

• Make sure your email settings are such that you are NOT notified for every burp or MIL visit. Only stuff you really want to know.
• Be there for your friends and someone just might be there for you.
• Stay positive
• Don't hate
• And don't offer help when none is requested.
  

You can try and try but some people do not wish to learn second-hand and the lessons must be learned by the person on their own. However painful and inconvenient or time-consuming that may be..

Yet I am still having fun and doing what I do. I do realize I am getting older and I cannot forget my hard won lessons from days past. Just when you think you are invincible and that is when the world will show up and smack you upside the head.

Until the next time.

And yes the Television has returned. I am once again part of the human race and wasting time the way it is meant to be wasted..

I will still be around for sure..

1/18/09 - Fast Forward - Faster and not Fast Enough

I have been going through it.

Worlds colliding and bleed over from other issues intrudes into my real world (and my weekends) even though I want the good times to never end.

When I stop to think about it all of these things have silver linings. I have had to sit and contemplate all of these things one by one and have determined that I am better for it. "That which does not kill you makes you stronger" and whatnot..

The good points:
Not having a television for 2 weeks means I have found other ways to entertain myself and I have gotten things done. No reason for procrastination when you have all this free time. Thank goodness the DVR is taping things and I can watch them when the TV comes back.

Having to setup my new PC means I had to finally stop limping along with that old piece of crap PC I have been using all this time. And I brushed off my old PC fix-it skills and stretched my brain at the same time. I am enjoying the new PC and except for a few files I pretty much have everything I really needed re-saved and re-installed. I will be hooking up the 1 TB backup to the PC and preventing any catastrophic data loss in the future (hopefully)

Having to cancel my Amazon card because they changed my rate (my fault, but still..) hurt me somewhat as me loves my Amazon shopping. But that is one less bill I will have to pay now that I have zeroed it out and 2 credit cards still active is plenty for my reduced budget outlook. (details on that at some far future date)

I joined the gym near my house and put my New York Sports Club membership on hold - To be cancelled soon. New (old and now new again gym) Is cheaper and is closer to my house. I don't need clubs all over the city. I just need one I will go to to get my run on. Now I can stop complaining about $90 a month charges.

Have booked my flights for June. That done, now I just have to do the hotel (fax machine where are you..)

I'm not saying that my issues are all that earth-shattering and I know people have it a lot worse than I do. They have no one to love them, or have no one to give their love to, or have health issues, or family problems or are facing losing their homes and all the many dramas that go on around the world. I do my small part to keep a light shining in the darkness and love and help who I can and try not to let all the bad times get me down.

Even having insomnia means I have more time to do more stuff (who knew?) Use that restless spirit to do the things that need to be done (like writing, making music and connecting with friends)

I never share too much of myself in one place. I guess it's just my natural defensive mechanism so no one can know too much and in turn hurt me too deeply. No one likes pain and I would be totally remiss in giving anyone enough ammunition to direct extra drama back at me. Is why my brightkite, facebook, plurk, blog, and twitta are all separate. And even then my life is not "All" on the line. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and for now I have it kinda good. Not to say I can stay complacent forever but I can take what has been given to me and use it for my betterment and setting up my near future to be in a good place, both mentally, financially, and make sure my physical is handled as well.

My friends have been real and each has their part in making sure I am remaining happy and I in turn have tried to be a friend myself. Too many friend mistakes when I was younger (losing contact, talking out of turn, to name a few) means I should know better and I am definitely old enough to do the right thing.

For now though I am enjoying my weekends and concentrating on my weeks to do good things.

Now if only I can drink enough water, juice and 7-up so my joints stop hurting (LOL)

Shoutouts to
Gym
G Lounge
Splash

Me likes the party and so far the party likes me..

Until next time..

1/13/2009 - The More You Do the More You Still Have to Do..

This affliction of insomnia has continued unabated. I now know I will just have to have two sleep periods every day until I need the alarm again.

Nevertheless, I really have nothing to complain about. I guess I was just expecting everything to fall into place at the beginning of the year and everything I planned did in fact happen as scheduled, it was just the unplanned that threw a monkey wrench into my complacency.

Just when I thought I was doing OK:
I found out that my PC Hard Drive can crash so bad it requires data recovery.
I find out that my credit cards are trying to charge me downright usurious fees
(that is put to a stop quickly, homey don't play that)
I still have to pay for future trip plans now before price goes up.
I have to find the time to workout before my in-shape goes to all-shot.
I have to get my big screen TV repaired (before the superbowl)

The usual drama,
Though I have conquered my weekend my real life is getting is getting more and upheaved and I don't know which is going to clear up first. I am not used to having so many different things beyond my control to deal with at once.

I need to follow my own advice:
Break the problems into little parts and deal with them one by one until they are all done.

I guess I really just need to allow myself the privilege of falling behind on some things while everything else seems hunky-dory. I broke away from a past life where my needs were secondary to the all-knowing cause and my effect was little and my happiness, low.

Now I am in as much control as I can muster there is nothing MORE I can do except put together the little puzzle that is my place in the grand plan. I cannot tell anyone what to do, least of all God, but I do know that He helps those that help themselves. I will not cry over spilt milk and I will not waste time letting my life fall by the wayside.

I will get my PC fixed, my TV fixed and I will plan for my future accordingly. I deserve to have some good times ahead. And in every life some rain must fall. I guess my April has come in January. I have my umbrella out and my coat is water proof. So I am as prepared as I can be. So come with it then. I will not be hurt by a little wet.

1/06/09 - Awake and Waiting

This insomnia (waking up before dawn and laying there for 2 hours is insomnia for sureness) is annoying but I am sure If I plan my caffeine schedule, and or take some sleep meds sparingly I can be ready for bed at a reasonable hour more than once or twice a week.

I think it is just I have so much on my mind, both in my life and creatively that I have to get them all done before I can finally sleep and sleep well.

I have books to write, vacation plans to make, bills to pay, and my desktop PC that I use to make music and burn CDs finally gave up the ghost (boot sector with funky symbols). The Desktop PC and the bills will be handled in due time. But I really have to sit down and write the books and stories and any music in my head will be focused on when I get the new PC.
(Thank Goodness for the Mac laptop and the backup External). If I did not have the access I do to the information world and my online friends I would be highly upset. But since I have the high-speed cable, the laptop in the living room and the big TV to watch at the same time, all is still well.

Last weekend was a lot. New Years meant that the weekend started early. Wednesday Night watching Amber and Zelma Davis perform, well as a trip to Roseland Ballroom with the New Years detritus of Times Square still blowing as I ran to the club. I hung out with Marta and saw Joon before I had to head home before I fell asleep on my feet. I even went out Thursday Night with Dwayne and danced until 4am and took a taxi home. I had a lot of fun two days in a row but decided to take Friday off to rest and recover. (Sorry Mo.) Saturday was spent shopping in NJ where the taxes were low and the selection was nice. After a late afternoon nap I was ready to jump into my Saturday Night with both feet. With Russ and The Jimmy both off to G Lounge I headed over to GymBar myself and hung out for a bit with Ty, Ben and DJ Colin. I headed over to Splash around 12:30 and hung out with Dwayne for a bit before dancing both upstairs and down with DJ Hex Hector upstairs and DJ Danny Echi downstairs. I got the phone call from Russ to leave and meet at 4pm to head back to Brooklyn so I retrieved my wrap and made my way back to Bklyn after a stop for pizza. I was overtired and not at my best on the way home but eventually I was able to fall asleep and awake to a lazy Sunday.

The days are starting to get longer again, but there is still plenty of Winter to deal with before the warm comes again. I do need to be a little more regimented in my scheduling and planning and remember to take my vitamins. All that I do requires me to be on point for many days and many nights and I need all of the help that I can get. This insomnia is getting in the way. I need to get past it and get all of the spots worked out. At least my new friend the Homedics Shiatsu Pillow is keeping me from getting too tense.

My problem may be is I am still waiting for everything to be done and finished, All the writing, all the waiting, All the things I have yet to do. I have frittered away the time watching movies on cable but this is the season when that is not as much fun as well so thankfully it is forcing me to do the other things that need to be done.

I know I will do it all eventually, but I guess it will have to be soon. One never knows what will happen next.