Well those days are no longer. While that might seem like a bad thing at first I can say that what I’ve lost in fortification I’ve gained in sensitivity. I see more and feel more and acknowledge that more things can affect me. I watch and learn but I also take away emotional undertones and know how simple acts can mean much more on a grander scale to some.
When someone offers you something that you do not want, yet you do not want to hurt that persons feelings, Maybe you just feel too much. When you realize you have only known that person for 2 days and so then WANT to hurt their feelings because it would not mean as much as hurt feelings weeks or months later, maybe you just feel too much.
Looking back I can see where I should have just gotten to the point. Knowing that my time and lifetime are far too valuable to waste on pointless exercises with pointless people. If ever faced with the same or similar situation of course I know what I would say and do.
But to get through the lesson the first time is always so hard. It left echoes in my lifetime for days. It makes me angry (still) just to think that someone actually thought they could have my best interests at heart, better than I know for myself. Especially after only knowing me for 2 days.
A light in the middle of the darkness is still a light. It attracts all kinds of things to the glow but really just wants to be next to another light. The twinned glow can look beautiful from a distance but may end up being just a xenon light and a firefly. I will save my own light for a glow that is as bright as my own. I will not settle for an insect. Those I will shoo away and if they won’t go away quietly, then those I will give a healthy swat and then move on.
Sorry witnesses to my emotions, I will be more fun next time:
Gym, G Lounge, and Splash
