12-11-09 Winding Down but not Finished Yet..

I have not posted in like forever. I guess putting the words to page was just more than I could actually manage. Life keeps you busy. But it also throws you for a loop when you least expect it. Things End. Some things stay the same. I wanted to be one of the things that stay the same but It gets real hard sometimes. My weekend was always the place where I was able to be myself and retreat from the real world. That's what this blog was all about when I started it. Gradually I got more comfortable sharing not just my fun side but parts of myself. I started writing about real life. But real life came up behind me and threw me under the bus.

I never wanted to provide enough information beyond names and places so that I would ever embarrass myself, or my friends or any of the places I hang out.

However it gets really hard to stay happy and upbeat when tragedy hits you at home. My world is far different now.
I'm still myself.
I still have a good time.
I still have my friends
(friends who have been there for me and given me the strong shoulder to lean on, and cry next to and give me the toast to life that I needed and still need).
But things will never be the same. Now that the writing drought is broken maybe I will remember to write more often. (Hopefully my other writing will also be done on a more regular basis also)

Hopefully next year will be SOOO much better. It can't get much worse. But I still (currently) have a place to live, an internet connection and HD television. Without those things I think I would have gone mad long ago.

My emotions are always right under the surface now so when I am alone I am sensitive and loud but am also more empathetic than I've ever been in my whole life. Fresh pain does that to you I guess. Time heals all wounds I'm told. I'll see.

Thank goodness for friends, music, and places to go and dance (and have a good drink).